


Happily Ever After Below The Waist

by live_and_let_live, quinziggle



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Bad Sexting, Creeper Pete, I'm tired, Joe tries to 'help', M/M, This is pretty cracky, amazingly Joe's 'help' works better than he expected, blushy Patrick, implied sub Pete Wentz, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7916368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/live_and_let_live/pseuds/live_and_let_live, https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinziggle/pseuds/quinziggle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe likes a shirtless selfie on Pete's instagram... on Patrick's phone. Patrick's pissed, so Joe decides to 'help' him and Pete out... by sexting Pete... while pretending to be Patrick... on Patrick's phone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happily Ever After Below The Waist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [live_and_let_live](https://archiveofourown.org/users/live_and_let_live/gifts).



Patrick had originally asked him over to ask for his opinion on some new ideas; they'd practiced for a few hours and had a killer riff coming along, but somewhere down the line they'd ended up on Patrick's bed together, giggling over the selfies on Pete's instagram like a couple of ten year olds.

The drama started when Joe went and liked one of the shirtless ones.

There was a moment of stillness, like the calm before the storm, as Patrick silently stared at the little red heart on the screen.  
He slowly turned to face Joe. "Did you just...? On my account...?"

There was a pause.

Joe opened his mouth to reply, but was powerless to stop the fury of the tiny man as Patrick began yelling like a Viking and beating Joe over the head with his pillow.

"JOE!" Patrick howled in rage, face turning crimson. "JOSEPH MARK TROHMAN!!" Joe pulled the entire duvet up over his head to protect himself from Patrick's wrath, successfully causing Patrick to slide off the bed onto the floor.

When the singer stopped yelling, Joe cautiously peeked over the edge of the bed to be met with the ultimate sulky bitch face.

"Uh...sorry?" he tried.  
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Patrick growled.  
"No...?" "You've unleashed Pete upon me... Any second now he'll realise what you've done..."

Personally, Joe thought he was being a bit dramatic, and said so.

Patrick threw a pillow at him.

Joe was about to retaliate when Patrick's phone buzzed in his hand. There was silence.

"It's him," Patrick whispered. "He knows."

Patrick climbed up off the floor, and they both watched intensely as Joe tapped on the phone screen.

1 New Message from Petey ♥

"Petey??" Joe snorted. "Shut the fuck up, Trohman!" Patrick shrieked. "What does he want?" He added in an almost fearful hush.

Joe passed him the phone, and he unlocked it. 

hey ;) saw u checking out my hot bod

This was followed by a string of - completely unnecessary, in Patrick's opinion - emojis.

"See!" He groaned. "Look! Look what you've done. Now he'll be all smug forever."

Joe grinned. "Let me see?"  
Wordlessly, Patrick handed him the phone. Before the smaller man could stop him, he'd typed out a reply and hit send.

"Joe!!" Patrick snatched his phone back, looking in horror at the message on the screen.

Heh. I might have been...♥

"But... Joe... that's... that's flirting, Joe..." Patrick seemed to be struggling to breathe, let alone form words correctly. "I thought you'd appreciate the help," Joe replied nonchalantly.

The little device buzzed again with Pete's reply.

aww patty u cutie pie ♥♥♥

Patrick groaned with his face in his hands, a steady blush forming over his neck and cheeks.

"Nawwwwwww, you guys," Joe cooed, knowing full well that Patrick might possibly kill him for that remark.

Instead, the small singer just face planted into the duvet, still making woebegone groaning noises and turning an interesting beetroot colour.

Joe took the opportunity of his distraction to spice things up a bit. 

So... wanna send me another picture of your "hot bod"? 

His giggle as he pressed send really should have alerted Patrick that he was up to something, but he was still doing his best to bury himself alive in bedcovers and took no notice. 

A reply pinged onto the screen almost instantly. 

patty you cheeky! wait... has someone taken ur phone?

Joe smirked as he began typing. 

No, it's me. Um sorry if that was inappropriate.

haha ok, but tell me something only patrick would know 

Joe thought for a second before replying.

Okay. How about that time when you caught Ryan and Brendon making out in your hot tub? And you told me you thought it was "pretty hot"?

ok ok, I believe it's you, no more examples pls

Are you sure? ;)

yes!!

patty r u drunk?? ur acting kinda weird

No... I just realised something

um ok. tell me?

Joe glanced over to see that Patrick had risen from his duvet cocoon and was watching him type intensely. 

"Jesus, Patrick, you should be a ninja or something..."  
"Oh, shut up," He grumbled. "What are you going to say now?" 

Joe laughed like a cartoon villain in a bad movie. "I'm going to seduce him."   
Patrick sighed. "Do I have to be here to witness that?"   
"Yes, of course," Joe said with a grin. "Now watch and learn." 

You're much like a washing machine, Pete. 

i am? 

"Where is this going?" Patrick asked with a sigh.

"Wait and see, my young Padawan." 

Mhm. I want to turn you on and fill you with my dirty load. 

"What."   
Patrick turned to face him aghast.  
"What the fuck, Joe?! That's... so nasty..." 

Joe grinned. "We just have to wait for his reply now." 

They didn't have to wait long.

fuck, patrick... 

"He liked it?!!! What the fuck!" Patrick shrieked. 

i kinda always thought of you as a top... i mean you're so little and cute but you'd be fucking hot as a dom yknow? 

fuck sorry

Patrick and Joe stared at each other in a stunned silence.

"Okay, give me that," Patrick gestured towards the phone. Joe tossed it over.

Patrick started typing.

It's okay   
...you'd be hot as a bottom

"Patrick!!" Joe shrieked, appalled.

Now, how about that picture? 

"Okay, nope, nope, nope, I'm not staying here while you guys sext each other. I already know more than I'm comfortable with. I'm going to go downstairs and drink coffee for like 2 hours, you can come down when you're done sending nudes or whatever you're doing."

Patrick's phone buzzed and he made a noise of approval of something Pete'd sent. Joe scrambled away quickly. "Leaving now! Leaving now!"

___________________________________________

As soon as he was in the kitchen, he pulled his own phone out of his pocket, tapping on his contacts and call.

"Andy? You won't believe what I just made happen..."

Pause.

"Yes. I know. I'm traumatised... Yes. Yes. You'll have to comfort me. Okay. I'm coming over right now. Yep. Bye."


End file.
